Now That The Yankees Have Had Time to Set Up a Killer Party for Him, Jorge Posada Officially Announces Retirement

Months after most baseball fans assumed he would retire, and weeks after it was informally announced that he would retire, Jorge Posada actually said the words, “I’m going to retire.”

Say Goodbye to Jorge and His Chins

Terrell Owens: “I Wonder if the NFL Thinks of me Even Half as Much as I Think of Them.”

Football player and flamboyant drama king, Terrell Owens told his personal trainer that he misses the NFL. After advising to spread the word that he’s interested in playing real professional football again, Owens said, “it’ll be different this time… I’ve changed, I promise I’ve changed!”

Terrell Owens Doing What He Does Best of Late, Crying

Jason Kidd Out At Least Three Games With Arthritis

Dallas Mavericks Point Guard Jason Kidd will miss several games that may or may not miss him.

Mmmm... Jersey Tastes Like Medicine!

Indy-cision 2012

The Indianapolis Colts won 8 fewer games this season than they did last year, playing an entire season without beloved franchise hero quarterback Peyton Manning. Naturally, this has made the Colts unsure if they should stick with their Man(ning) or take their chances with Luck.

Indy-Ceision 2012... They're even wearing the Republican/Democrat colors to make the analogy that much more obvious!

Roethlisgimper Plays With Less Power Than Candlestick Park

Big Ben Roethishamburglar gets a lot of respect and credit from sportscasters and analysts for being a tough, strong leader… the kind that would rape your sister in a bathroom. Unfortunately, while a bum left ankle may not slow one’s rape-roll, it drastically affects the ability to quarterback.

Candlelit Game

Tim Tebow Turns Gatorade Into Wine

The End of Days

Tim Tebow: “Flood in visitors’ locker room just one of many plagues to come!”

And You Thought GB was Green Bay!

Vikings Waive Goodbye to Donovan McNabb

No More Soup for You!

"Wait? What happened?" - McNabb at least twice a game for 13 seasons

MLB Working to Ensure World Series is Always a Rematch

Major League Baseball is going in for a realignment… because why should the National Basketball Association be the only league pissing off their fans right now?

Soon There Will Be One Two-Sided Bird

Q&A RE: NBA

With baseball’s over and having given hockey one game to impress me (it failed), it’s more apparent that there’s no NBA. How can this be, you may ask. Well, that’s just one of many questions I’ll make up answers to!

Is the NBA trying to avoid being the 1% so they don't have to pay the tax rate that the 1% doesn't have to pay but a lot of people want them to pay? Probably not.

Something In the Lack of Water: Africans Dominate NYC Marathon

The top five men and top three women to finish yesterday’s NYC Marathon are from Africa, where running is the most common and practical form of transportation.

Africans show off their skill of being able to run 24.2 miles more than the average American