Wade Reminds NBA That He is Good, Team Is Not

Last night in the Florida vs. Florida not-very-anticipated NBA showdown, Dwayne Wade scored 50 points in a losing effort versus the Orlando Magic. The rest of the Miami Heat scored 49 points making it perfectly clear that Wade is better than his entire team combined and should consider joining the Harlem Globetrotters or maybe just any other NBA team.

Wade claims he would have enjoyed a win more than his personal career high points accomplishment. Unfortunately, Wade said “a win” when he meant “teammates that could even remotely keep up with him.”


Orlando’s Dwight Howard didn’t mind his mere 32 points and victory. “He didn’t even dunk by jumping over me,” Howard laughed, “and they lost. I’m not even a little threatened.”

NBA fans at Amway Arena in Orlando were entertained by Wade’s performance and the entire Heat teams’ lack of any defense whatsoever. “Wade put on quite the show while I never doubted that the Magic would be victorious. There’s no better game than that!” one Orlando fan exclaimed.

After the game, Dwayne Wade was surprised that there were other people in Heat uniforms in his locker room. “Where were you during the game?” Wade wondered. Not only did Wade score more than his scrub teammates, but he took 29 less shots.

Wade joins Dana Barros, George Gervin, and Wilt Chamberlin as the only players to score 50 points in a game where the team lost by twenty points or more. Chamberlin, however, has done this four times because he has done pretty much everything in basketball at least four times.

Wade is counting down until his contract with the Heat expires in 2010. There could be a nice vacancy in Cleveland for him by then.

Article also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog

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