Yesterday, after four months of literally agreeing to disagree, Manny Ramirez signed a 2-year, $45 million deal to stay with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Manny laughed at today’s news conference when he learned what a big deal his leech agent Scott Boras had created.
Manny Ramirez, 37, enjoyed an off-season which surely consisted of not working out, perfectly the art of the honey blunt and enjoying VH1 Celebreality television. Meanwhile his agent and certified pain-in-the-ass, Scott Boras, negotiated in a full circle with the only team interested in signing his client Manny Ramirez.
To Scott Boras’ surprise, there was no bidding war over the left-fielder. The Dodgers were the only team to offer Manny a deal. Instead of quietly swallowing his overstatement, Boras pushed as hard as he could for the biggest deal that the Dodgers could give for his own ego and reputation.
How did this process take so long? Just some overachieving by Scott Boras paired with debates over when the outrageous sum would be paid out. You see, drug dealers don’t take credit so having money earlier from your job is better. That’s wisdom from Manhattan’s own Dominican Republic known as Washington Heights.
Manny is finishing his last business left in Boston. Yesterday, he put his condo at the Residences at the Ritz-Carlton on the market for $8.5 million. This is not the first time Manny has tried to sell of his four-bedroom, six-bathroom apartment. By the way, when you have more bedrooms than bathrooms you’re either hosting a lot of parties or eating the wrong food. In 2005, Manny put the 4,500 square-foot condo on the market for $6.9 million. Who knows why, since everything is written off as “Manny Being Manny.”
The catchphrase means either “Manny being random and impulsive” or “Manny being an idiot”, depends on how you feel about the slugger. He certainly doesn’t strike anyone as the kind of person that has a millionaire lifestyle. Maybe he’ll wipe his ass with dollar bills. Manny should’ve sold this condo to Jason Bay last summer. That was the opportunity. Now Manny has to wait for Boston to sign a big contract and then he may have a buyer.
The contract with Los Angeles allows Manny until November to void the second year of the contract. This way all the news coverage over Manny can be completely recreated eight months from now. Until then, it’s Mannywood.