Don’t Call It a Comeback: Favre Whores Out to the Media, Round 54

Brett Farve is herpes, and the beginning of the off-season is the only time of year we get a quick dose of Valtrex.

Favre is like a baby who cries and screams if you don’t pay attention every time he takes a shit. The temporarily former NFL quarterback needs more drama than T.O. and Dennis Rodman in their respective heydays combined. Favre may as well show up in Minnesota to do pushups in a wedding dress.

Rumored to be considering returning to football as often as Cher returns to plastic surgery and Lindsay Lohan returns to drugs, never-say-die-and-mean-it Brett Farve is back, back again to repeal another retirement claim.

Unaware that his time is over because you should leave while you’re still loved, Favre is acting like an overdramatic queen by pulling in and out of the league. Meeting Thursday with the Packer’s rival, the Minnesota Vikings, rumors are spreading like wildfire that even if Favre doesn’t come back (at least not right away so he can stay in the news and hold firm to be the center of media attention), he wants to meet with Coach Childress to piss off the Packers.

The Packer fans love Favre, with reason. But Favre wants to try as hard as possible to push away the fans who built him up to be the man that he was. When you’re an overpaid, undeserving hero who has the best job in the history of the universe, of course everyone wants to see you get revenge against an old boss that gave you his franchise for years, made you a beloved celebrity and helped you win a Superbowl.

The media more than covers his every move, fueling his fire to stay in the limelight. Reinforcing this bad behavior is not helping the situation. Overstaying your time playing football is one thing, making a big deal about how great you are because you don’t actually understand what the word retirement means is another.

When I have children, I will tell them about who the good quarterbacks in my day were and I’ll have to mention Brett Farve in the majority of his Green Bay Packer years, but I will never ever talk about how good of a player Brett Farve is without recognizing how much a pain in the ass he became in later years.

Article also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog

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