Pedro Becomes Philified

In a move to piss off two-former-teams-with-one-signing effort, starting pitcher Pedro Martinez has agreed on a contract with the NL East leading Philadelphia Phillies.

It is certain that both the New York Mets and Boston Red Sox are getting a big middle finger from their former star, Pedro Martinez, as he signs with the Philadelphia Phillies. The Mets, for one, are upset when any hispanic players are signed to other team. The Red Sox, for one of their own, dislike Philadelphia for little to no known reason beyond the fact that Boston does not like any other sports-oriented city.

New York is also upset because nothing shows confidence in repeating as division champions like signing on an oldie-but-goodie that is just as good, if not better than a Mets’ oldie-but-was-never-really-goodie like Livan Hernandez.

Boston is also upset because prop two has decriminalized the possession of marijuana in small quantities. This means that Boston cannot arrest Martinez if he ever comes back to town.

Martinez has a vision for the Phillies to knock off the Mets at the very end of the season before going into the playoffs, where he can strikeout Manny Ramirez in the one game he pitches to sweep the NLCS and take the champions back to the World Series where the Phillies can complete their back of the back-to-back title years by beating the Boston Red Sox in Boston.

Now we wait to see if his dreamland vision can become and unbelievable reality.

Article also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog and on Player Press


One Response to Pedro Becomes Philified

  1. slamdunk says:

    Funny stuff–at least Don Zimmer is in the American League still.

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