Ruining the Opening of Recession Stadium

Who says you need to score touchdowns in the red zone to win games? With play like this, the New York Giants should be favored by one point forgmen the next several weeks (until Big Blue blows someone out, or blows a game).
No matter how many stripper cheerleaders Jerry Jones hangs from the ceiling of his new gazillion dollar proof that everything is bigger and more ridiculous in Texas (except for corporate sponsorship of a new stadium), the Dallas Cowboys couldn’t please the crowd at the opening of their new home.
More thoughts…
Instead of one star wide-out, we can spread the love to all. Sounds communist, but so do some other great ideas… like universal health care.
Dear Michigan, Thank you for Mario Manningham. Without Amani Toomer, many fans have been sad and concerned. But, as it turns out, you Wolverines have given us another talented receiver and for that we are appreciative of you, other Blue. Love, Bigger and More Professional Blue
large_manningham
Plan for Giants to win every game: We give Eli Manning goggles that make it so anytime he looks at the scoreboard, it reads that the Giants are down by four points with less than two minutes left in the game. This is the scenario where Eli does the best, so he need be thinking it is the situation every time. That’s the plan.
Next week Big Blue goes to Tampa Bay to visit Derrick Ward and the Barber that still plays football. It should be warm.
Meanwhile, the Giants Stadium LLC sent an email this morning to all of the season ticket waitlist people that was all, “we won two games, come get your PSLs!”
I wrote back: “Although I am completely thrilled with the two victories this season started with, it has not provided any sort of recession relief for me and I still cannot afford the new stadium.”
I can only wonder if the Jets did the same.
Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog and on Player Press
Advertisements

One Response to Ruining the Opening of Recession Stadium

  1. Kaz says:

    I am very annoyed that the Dallas offensive lineman tripped Tuck and is going to get away with causing an injury.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: