Celebrate Good Championships All Offseason!

Celebrate Good Championships All Off-season! Do-do-do-do do do do do!

I caught myself yelling at the Jeopardy! Teen Tournament earlier this week. The category was “Sports by Players.” The clue was “Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez” The correct response was obviously “the World Champion New York Yankees.” Even though the Teen Tournament was probably filmed months before the playoffs even started, I was appalled that “Yankees” was accepted as correct without the acknowledgement of the stellar season. Come on, rest of the world. Get on the gloating!

What? Not everyone likes the Yankees? Shenanigans! I won’t stand for it!!!

When I finally watched three of the four core World Champion New York Yankees on Letterman two minutes ago, I wanted to throw my foam brick at the laptop when the audience didn’t give the much deserved standing ovation to Jeter, Posada, and Pettitte.

It’s always a little strange to see your baseball heroes in normal people clothing. I mean, sure these guys look nice in suits, but shouldn’t they live in their uniforms? It’s a totally different view to see baseball players dressed like stockbrokers. In Andy Pettitte’s case, I notice the fact that his chin looks like someone brought a hole punch to it much more in regular attire than in proper costume on the field. Seeing Derek Jeter without a hat or batting helmet made me realize how big his forehead has gotten since 1996.

But enough swimming at the shallow end of the judgment pool. Let’s look at the best quotes from the World Champion New York Yankees Parade:

  • Hal Steinbrenner:”Just a magical day … It felt like a lot more than (a million fans). New York just has the best fans in the world. It’s been nine years. You forget the same way that my father has forgotten everything over the past five or so years.
  • CC Sabathia: (On whether he should’ve invited his buddy LeBron): “Yeah, you know, I should have had him come down here to watch the parade, but I clearly have little influence on the man. He couldve seen what it’s like to win in New York. Now he’ll have to wait til 2012.
  • Alex Rodriguez:“It was incredible, like nothing I’ve ever seen before … I’ve been waiting a long time for this and it’s even better than Madonna said it would be. She’s wrong about a lot of stuff, especially with men and covering classic songs, but she sure was right about performance enhancing drugs. Those were totally worth it.”
  • Johnny Damon:“I got to do it in my fourth year here, and maybe my last. You really never know how many times you’re going to have this opportunity. I got to experience in twice, in two of the best places to do it … They were both great, both special. Obviously, New York was better. Plus, I look less like an ape with this sweet makeover.”
  • Hideki Matsui:Something in Japanese that doesn’t translate to English as well as you’d think it does.”

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 World Champion New York Yankees! Let the celebration continue all through the off-season! Woot woot!!!

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog

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