Jets Fan Spygate Lawsuit Heard in Philly Court

A city of obnoxious fans naturally empathize with the rabid Jets fan who sued the New England Patriots for being cheater-cheater-pumpkin eaters through their videotaping of New York Jets coaches.

A federal appeals court in Philadelphia decided to hear arguments from the Jets season ticket holder attorney who first sued the New England Patriots in 2007.

Carl Mayer and co-counsel Bruce Afran are adamant that the Patriots’ videotaping deprived Jets fans from seeing an honest game, where the spelling is short and the drinking is copious. The case was scheduled to go before the 3rd Circuit in Philadelphia on Wednesday, which is an improvement from last year, when the case was dismissed by a federal judge in New Jersey who had better things to do.

The Patriots were busted videotaping signals by Jets coaches, something that seems pointless because, at the time, the team was really not very good. Nevertheless, stealing signs is a violation of league rules, as well as something that works. After all, the Patriots won that game at Giants Stadium.

The NFL fined head coach and Spygate Coordinator Bill Belichick $500,000 and the team $250,000. Additionally, New England lost their first-round draft choice and the respect of hundreds of thousands of fans of other teams.

Yesterday, a Patriots lawyer said that, “every spectator that goes to a game expects there will be rules infractions.” Um, duh! There are penalties in every game! When a judge asked, “Do you think someone would pay that kind of money [for tickets] if they knew in advance it wasn’t a fair game?” the lawyer replied that, “Given what I know about professional sports — yes.” This is a lawyer’s way of saying that sports fans are aware and accepting of the fact that many athletes use performance-enhancing drugs and are guilty of felony crimes under the supervision of ruthless and often sketchy coaches. Play ball!

And it’s true. Steroids, drugs and crime are all over the NFL. Football is entertainment, owing ticket buyers a show, but by no means can they guarantee a fair one. The chances of any professional sport being perfectly fair is as low as the chance that Americans will restrain in filing any more frivolous law suits.

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog, and on Player Press


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