Random Report Challenges Yankee Haters to Step Up

In a recent report, the Yankees were declared the 5th most hated team in major league baseball. Clearly, there is no real science designed to determine true hatred levels.

Nielsen Co., which analyzes how people feel about certain things, like, ya know, how a high schooler may try to make a report out of popularity… well, they kinda did it by publishing a totally random report about haterade in baseball!

Check it out – this service usually uses various keywords to figure out if people have positive, negative or neutral reactions to different brands and products. They applied this ground-breaking skill set to MLB teams. As it turns out, no team registered a negative mark on Nielsen’s “sentiment scale,” which ranges from -5 to 5, even though some Pittsburgh fans must be furious that they have the best minor league team trapped in the majors where they can’t win. A similar thought can be applied to Baltimore fans, who have revised their theory that the Orioles will be good in 2011 to a theory that the O’s will be good in 2111.

The winner of the most hated team is… the Cleveland Indians!

Most Hated = The Indians, Is there anything less politically correct than that? Oh yeah, there's Arizona...

How can that be? Have people not seen the movie classic “Major League” and grown a sentimental attachment to a scrub team in a failing Midwest city? What’s wrong with people? Who did Nielsen survey for this anyway? Nobody asked me what I thought!

But maybe it’s because of the seagull problem they have over there. Or perhaps all the billions of Yankee fans have hatred for Cleveland since those gnats screwed over Joba Chamberlain in 2007. Plus, Cleveland has been hogging Lebron James, who would look so good in a Knicks uniform. This is starting to make sense now.

This will scare the kids away from the ballpark

And Cleveland has the ugliest mascot. Slider is a pink Philly Phanatic with bushy yellow eyebrows to match his hairy yellow nose. He looks like a bad acid trip where everyone on Sesame Street gets a pepto-bismol sponsored version of chicken pox.

According to the report, the 2nd most hated team is the Boston Red Sox. With their undesirable accents, least attractive players, cramps from chowdah and distinguished role as wannabe Yankees, the number two team on the hated list seems completely reasonable.

The struggling Red and Astros from the overcrowded NL Central occupy 3rd and 4th place, making the New York Yankees the 5th most hated team. This is possibly only because there are Yankee fans around the world, whose numbers in sheer volume alone can dominate even the most insignificant survey.

At the loved end of the spectrum, the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics ranked as the most beloved baseball boys. Maybe because the weather is always pretty good at those games.

In case you were curious, the results for top ten most hated teams are as follows:

Team Score
1. Cleveland Indians 0.9
2. Boston Red Sox 1.1
3. Cincinnati Reds 1.5
4 Houston Astros 1.8
5. New York Yankees 1.8
6. Washington Nationals 1.9
7. Chicago White Sox 2
8. Baltimore Orioles 2
9. New York Mets 2.3
10. Los Angeles Dodgers 2.4


2 Responses to Random Report Challenges Yankee Haters to Step Up

  1. caren says:

    If the A’s are so beloved, why doesn’t anyone go to the games?

  2. Krissy says:

    Perhaps people hate Cleveland because it has a racist mascot. It is my least favorite team for that reason… maybe it’ll help encourage them to change their name. Sigh…

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