L.T. – Lost it Totally

Oh, Lawrence Taylor! I had the same feeling when I found out that LT raped a 16-year old as I did when I found out he was doing Dancing with the Stars… which is something like, “Great, now I have to make sure people know that I only like him as an athlete and not at all as person.”

Lawrence Taylor

According to the Daily News, the teen prostitute that has brought rape allegations against legendary New York Giants Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor told a friend that the two did not have sex, just after the encounter at a Holiday Inn hotel.

The report quotes the source as saying:

“She starts explaining that it was weird because she didn’t even have sex,” the pal told investigators, according to the source. “When she got back in the car, she wasn’t mad or anything like that. She was like, ‘Wow’ – she got paid $300 and didn’t have to have sex with him.”

Other prostitutes in the area were jealous. Wow, $300 and she only had to get beat up a little bit beforehand! Plus, the story! And she got to take the soap and stuff from the hotel room. Oh, and publicity! What a great deal!!!

This news comes a day after The News reported that Taylor claimed he was only “touching himself.” The masturbation defense is an uncommon one, but L.T.’s choice as his legal defense in the third-degree rape case. Only time will tell if authorities believe that L.T. hired a mechanic for a do-it-yourself job.

The 16-year-old is, like, pretty sure that’s not how it happened. She says that she “definitely had intercourse” with Taylor and reiterated the sentiment by telling the News:  “If he’s (Taylor) saying we didn’t (have sex), that’s not true.”

A series of back and forth “nah-ah” and “ah-huh”s are scheduled for the coming weeks.

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog, and on Player Press

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