How to Shorten MLB Games

People complain about the length of MLB games these days. Here’s a look at some options to shorten baseball games.

America's Game

The ADD society we live in is looking for ways to cut the time of baseball games down.

The following is a short (per the theme) list of ways to decrease the amount of time professional baseball games take:

  • Limit the number of times catchers can visit pitchers per inning – If there’s that much to talk about, they haven’t learned enough signs.
  • Limit the number of times a pitcher can throw over to check a baserunner, especially if the baserunner is a big guy with pretty much no threat to steal – Perhaps three throws to the Speedy Gonzalezes and two to the David Ortizs. Adds an additional aspect to managing the game.
  • Fewer commercials between innings – Make up with more plugs between batters and pitching changes
  • Really eliminate performance enhancing drugs – Lower score = faster game (just not too much, because then it’s hockey)
  • Have pitching coaches train pitchers for faster delivery – Make ’em push those pitchers to get a move on
  • Make the players haul ass between innings – The pitcher can start as soon as he runs out there, if there’s no batter, the balls and strikes can still be called. Except maybe for the catcher with all that equipment. Just make ’em run on and off the field like little leaguers do!
  • Charge more for fewer commercials during high profile games – Raise prices and limit time slots, it’s business, baby
  • Send a memo to fans & media to shut up and deal with it – That’s how you shmooze the people!

And that is how you shorten the game.

NOTE: I’m also available for business consultations, to solve crime and give unsolicited advice on a variety of topics.

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog, and on Player Press

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