Burnett Tries to Help Yankee Fans By Getting Himself Hurt

The Yankees Pitcher, Like Yankee Fans, Is Not Happy with His Poor Performance

Struggling New York Yankees starting pitcher A.J. Burnett slammed his hands against the Yankee clubhouse doors on Saturday in an another failed attempt to help his team.

A.J. Burnett

A.J. Burnett who had the worst June of any Yankees starting pitcher ever, going 0-5 with an 11.35 ERA, continued to suck on Saturday.  After surrendering three runs over the first two innings against the AL East 2nd place Tampa Bay Rays, Burnett felt a need to display his frustrations, so that the world would know that he too has noticed his decline.

Burnett cut his palms on some plastic thing on the clubhouse doors, which should be made out of punching bag material… a detail somehow overlooked in the construction of New Yankee Stadium. Although the lacerations didn’t require stitches, Burnett wore bandages on both hands as he sat as a spectator of a Yankee victory in the clubhouse on yesterday.

Unfortunately for Yankee fans, Burnett’s temper tantrum did not actually injure his hands enough to give him time off to relearn how to be good again… as it turns out, he can’t seem to succeed at anything right now.

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog, and on Player Press

One Response to Burnett Tries to Help Yankee Fans By Getting Himself Hurt

  1. Super writing. You have gained a new fan. Please maintain the fabulous posts and I look forward to more of your newsworthy updates.

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