Nyjer Morgan Deserved to be Clotheslined

You know what Major League Baseball needs down the stretch between teams with no playoff hopes? Bench-clearing brawls! Not every team can deliver entertainment in the form of impressive talent. But any team can get a little drama to keep the fans interested. The mediocre Florida Marlins hosted the NL East worst Washington Nationals last night, producing 26 runs and one very amusing fight.

Here’s what went down: Washington Nationals Center Fielder Nyjer Morgan left Florida Marlins catcher Brett Hayes with a

Glamour/Mug Shot of Nyjer Morgan

separated shoulder Tuesday night after a home plate collision in the 10th inning. Probably not happy about that, Florida pitcher Chris Volstad hit Morgan with a pitch in the fourth inning. Morgan then stole two bases with his Nationals trailing 14-3.

Then, Volstad threw his first pitch of the sixth behind Morgan, causing all hell to break loose.  Morgan charged the mound taking a swing that appeared to graze Volstad’s face/neck. Marlins first baseman Gaby Sanchez appeared almost immediately and clothes-lined Morgan, knocking off his batting helmet and sending him to the ground, on his ass. It was hilarious.

And Morgan deserved the embarrassment.

Here’s a timeline of the karma leading up to Morgan’s take out:

May 22nd: While playing center field, Morgan went back on a ball hit to the wall by Baltimore Orioles outfielder Adam Jones in a 2-2 tied game in the fourth inning. Morgan jumped to try to make the catch and the ball hit off his glove. Assuming that the ball

Nyjer Morgan Temper Tantrum

bounced off of his glove and went over the wall for a home run, Morgan spiked his glove in juvenile temper tantrum style before confirming his immaturity by stomping around like an angry child. Morgan failed to follow through with the play and notice that the ball actually stayed inside the park, sitting on the warning track while Adam Jones rounded the bases. Left fielder Josh Willingham raced over to grab the ball and throw it in, but his efforts were too late. Jones beat the relay home for an inside the park home run, changing the score to 4-2 Orioles.

August 22nd: He throws a baseball at a fan in Philadelphia, hitting the fan in the head. Every other player in the league resists the urge to do this to the notoriously obnoxious Philly fans, but Morgan cannot resist. He is suspended for seven games, which he, of course, appeals.

August 28th: Morgan runs right into Cardinals catcher Bryan Anderson, even though there being no play at the plate. In doing this, Morgan actually misses touching home plate, ya know, which is how you score a run, and is consequently called out. To add injury to insult, Morgan separated Anderson’s shoulder in the process of not scoring. (See the video from MLB.com) Did I mention that he didn’t score the run? He was more into hurting the other team than helping himself. Does he know Tonya Harding?

August 31st: Morgan tries to score from second on a ground ball to second base. He runs into Florida Marlins catcher Brett Hayes, even though the ball easily beat him home… or maybe because the ball easily beat him home. As with the fate of St. Louis catcher Bryan Anderson, Hayes gets a separated shoulder (a.k.a. the Morgan signature gift). (See the video from MLB.com)

September 1st: (yesterday) Florida defends their diamond and takes out Morgan when he comes to attack.

Wednesday Night Fight in Florida

Nyjer Morgan is lucky.His crappy team keeps him around to teach the others how not to behave.  He’s lucky he’s in the major leagues, making $426,500 to behave like a prick when he’s probably only otherwise qualified to work at McDonald’s, where he’d be suspended without his $6 an hour pay for throwing a nugget in a customer’s face.

See, it’s not just the NFL and NBA that have dirtbag players. Even though he is not good for the league, opposing catchers and Philly fans specifically, at least he’s entertaining at a time of year where teams without playoff hopes need something to play for. Sure these teams can play the role of spoiler, but why not let them also play karmatic avenger?

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog, and on Player Press

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