Streaking Like Unwashed Undies

Brett Favre started his 292nd straight NFL game on Sunday, leading his team to another loss and sustaining another injury. The quarterback is committed to reversing the Humpty Dumpty theory and being put back together again. Regardless of whether it is actually good for him or the team.

Not Even Adrian Peterson's Crotch Can Save Him Now

After being hit by New England Patriots defensive tackle Myron Pryor while throwing a pass in the fourth quarter, there was speculation that Brett Favre broke his jaw, an injury that would prevent him from being able to speak. But that was not the case. He only needed stitches in chin, 8 for the wound and 2 more for to retain his beautiful face for all important Wrangler ads and the ongoing ESPN tributes.

“Nobody knows my body like me,” Favre replied when asked if he would be ready for next Sunday’s game against Arizona. Although he’s not a doctor, he is clinically stubborn.

“After 20 years, I still feel I can play at a high level,” he said. For the current season, Favre has a low level of play. His passer rating is 69.8 (the league average is 85.2).

Brad Childress, who supposedly is the head coach of the Minnesota Vikings, praised Favre’s durability. Because it’s really paying off with the team’s 2-5 record.

“He’s got pretty good recuperative skills,” Childress said, although Favre’s ankle has not actually healed, he just played anyway. “He’s a tough guy.”

With a selfish streak to protect. Although the consecutive start streak is not nearly as impressive as Cal Ripken, Jr.’s streak – because baseball is a much longer season with games played much for frequently than once a week – Favre clearly wants to extend this record. Even though he holds a lot of records (like most retirements, 1st grandpa, most pass attempts, most sacks, most almost everything since he’s been in the game for so long), this one is the most self-centered.

The record is consecutive starts for a QB. With the new conservative quarterback concussion rules, the chances of another player beating this streak is very low. The only quarterback with a viable chance to beat it is Peyton Manning, who, if injured, would not play because he would want heal properly and put him team in the best position to win with a healthy replacement.

Has any sports star had such a dramatic downturn of their reputation than Brett Favre? Less than five years ago Green Bay was ready to erect a statue of Favre in town. He was a respected American good ol’ boy who was loyal to his team and committed to the game. He was a leader. A cameo in There’s Something About Mary presented a fun personality and sense of humor.

But after prolonged retirement indecision,well-documented ego inflation, making his own schedule/rules/coaching calls with new teams, sexual harassment, and extreme overexposure, his reputation has plummeted to levels even lower than LeBron, who clearly is too dumb to understand his own superiority complex.

Favre, a man who “pushes through pain,” and “heals faster than most”, did not appear too bothered by his injury during the game on Sunday at New England. This was likely to do pain killers, cortisone injections and/or hypnosis to convince him that he is not a mere mortal like the rest of us. He played a mediocre game, putting up mediocre numbers. “My prayers were answered,” he said.

Also posted on National Lampoon’s Splog, and PlayerPress

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