In a Season Already Plagued With Injuries, A Fake One Gets Attention

Faker-faker playmaker? New York Giants Safety Deon Grant pretended he was hurt in Monday night’s game against the St. Louis Rams to slow down a no-huddle drive. The strategy worked, but now all over the NFL, people are crying about crying wolf.

Grant Goes Down

Deon Grant played defense off the field this week, denying that he faked an injury during a critical drive in Monday night’s victory over the Rams. “Like MC Hammer, I’m too legit to be bulls***,” Grant told the media.

With St. Louis quickly gaining yards, instead of taking a time out that may be needed later and/or blown by Eli Manning’s inability to monitor the play clock, Grant took a dive like a soccer player or a basketballer.

Making this a creative controversy as opposed to a pitiful play, the move worked! The Giants defense used the time to breath, get their act together and hold the Rams to a field goal, something they did three times that in the game.

Even though St. Louis linebacker Bryan Kehl wasn’t hurt, he proved to be a sore loser by claiming that Giants Defensive Coordinator Perry Fewell teaches such tactics… but this is the first we’ve seen such blatant fakeness since the Kardashian wedding.

“That’s not true. I may teach it now, but I didn’t teach that before,” Fewell stated.

Tom Brady denied that Bill Belichick ever coached that… because Coach Belichick believes in spying, not lying.

“We’re trying to reduce the injuries in football,” commissioner Roger Goodell said, “real or fake.”

In a memo sent to all the teams Wednesday morning, the NFL stated: “Should the league office determine that there is reasonable cause, all those suspected in being involved in faking injuries will be summoned promptly to this office in New York to discuss the matter. Those found to be violators will be subject to appropriate disciplinary action for conduct detrimental to the game. Discipline could include fines of coaches, players and clubs, suspensions or forfeiture of draft choices.”

Please note that the fact that the office is in New York is merely coincidence to the situation.

The main question coming from this memo is: Is this enforceable?

Logic answers with a convincing, “Of course not!” It’s impossible to prove, for example, if a player has had a cramp or not.

“Yeah,” Grant agreed with common sense, “I mean, why can’t I get cramps? Umenyiora has cramps everyday!”

Here are some other thoughts about this story has gained attention throughout the week:

“This is not an important story. What I wanna know is if the Indianapolis Colts are going to pull Brett Favre out of retirement or not! How is this not being talked about?” – Anonymous Old Man from Hattiesburg, MS

“Wait, I thought the entire Giants defense was injured?” – Candy Cane from Cupcake Commons, CL

“I wouldn’t know anything about that… I didn’t even know the game could end in a tie till a few years ago,” – Donovan McNabb from Minneapolis, MN

“No way he faked it! Big Blue gets big black and blues. They play tough!” – Tony “Simulator” Siupreguido from Newark, NJ

“It’s not like this happens all the time and has some tremendous affect on the game… like steroid use,” – J.K. Foos from Bethesda, MD

“Shouldn’t the NFL be focused on making sure players with real injuries heal? Maybe they should send a memo about how playing with a fractured rib and a punctured lung could getcha dead… and I ain’t talkin’ Jessica Simpson career dead, I’m sayin’ in da morgue dead. Hell yeah, I picked Jessica Simpson on purpose in that analogy!” – LeRon Kingston, Decatur AL

“I got fifty bucks on there being a copycat of that play in Philly this Sunday,” – Joey Gamblino from Atlantic City, NJ

“Like all other reality TV, football is full of actors,” – Jamie Julliard from New York, NY

“It’s terrible. What if no one believes it when Albert Haynesworth has his inevitable mid-season heart attack on the field?!” – Patty Fitzpatrick a Pats fan from Boston, MA

Also posted on National Lampoon and PlayerPress

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