NFL 2015 – Running a Loser Variety of Survivor Pool

(Wipes the figurative dust off this blog)

I did a Google image search for "NFL Loser" and, of course, this came up.

I did a Google image search for “NFL Loser” and, of course, this came up.

Hi! It’s me. I’ve been watching sports and not sharing my thoughts on it. For the past three NFL seasons, I’ve run suicide pools. These are great for people who want to care about games they otherwise wouldn’t/be more involved in football viewing, but not as involved as a fantasy team requires.

This season, I’m running the pool with a twist… instead of picking a team to win each week, you pick a team to lose each week.

And I’m gunna blog about it.

I did a Google image search for "NFL Loser" and,, sure enough, this incompetent loser came up.

I did a Google image search for “NFL Loser” and,, sure enough, this incompetent loser came up.

Here’s how it work/the rules for the NFL Survivor pool – LOSER EDITION! No one likes an underdog.*

  • Each pool member chooses one NFL team to LOSE each week per entry.
  • Picks are made “straight up”, not using a point spread system.
  • If the pick is correct and the team loses, the entry survives until the next week.
  • A correct pick allows the entry to “survive” to the next week, but then the entry will never be able to use that team they’ve already picked again.
  • An incorrect pick eliminates the player from the pool for the remainder of the season.
  • The goal is to be the last member standing at the end of the season!
  • Tie is no good. Your team must suck hard enough to lose.

Each person can have up to 3 entries. Because there are games pretty much every Thursday, picks will be due by 5pm EST every Thursday.

There are 105 entries- not too bad!

Week 1 is always tough to choose. It’s not too clear which teams will be good and which will be bad. There are a lot of division games, as well. Also, there are a couple toilet bowls out there: Jets vs. Browns, Bucs vs. Titans.

I did a Google image search for "NFL Loser" and this came up.

I did a Google image search for “NFL Loser” and this came up.

ESPN ranks the Washington Disasters (which is what they should change their name to) as the worst team in the league. They are at home against a decent Miami Dolphins team. With one of my 3 entries, I selected Washington will lose because they are losing losers who can’t even hate on their own quarterback that they broke in secrecy.

Also, ESPN doesn’t know anything. They more or less rank each team similarly to their performance from the season prior, despite the fact that players get traded, cut, retire and/or blow fingers off their hands.

With my second pick, I gambled and picked a team few other entries in the pool went for: Baltimore. While the Ravens are good, they will be in Denver. I worry that this is the season that Peyton suffers the career-ending injury (NOTE: I’ve said this the past 3 seasons). Since I think Denver is pretty mediocre at best without him, I’m picking Denver to start strong while Peyton’s still healthy… which will probably be the entire season and this is really not a great pick.

Third pick is one of the most popular of the week: picking the Pittsburgh Steelers to lose to the Superbowl Champion Cheating Cheater Scumfaced Patriots in New England. The biggest lines of the week are the Pats favored by 7 and Green Bay favored by 7 in Chicago, which is also a very popular pick, especially since Jay Cutler is not good at football.

While I have grown a fond hatred of the New England Cheating Cheaterfaces, they have proved that their strategy of sketchiness does work. Also, Pittsburgh’s defense is essentially a satin curtain at this point… though that makes them sound at least sexy.

Eight entries chose against my New York Giants in Dallas. I really hope those hater-8 get knocked out. Odell Beckham, Jr., people! Plus, the Giants play just as inconsistently on the road as they do at home. C’mon on G-men! See, now I’m getting pumped.

NFL starts tonight! Let’s forget that it’s a horribly corrupt league run by the World’s Most Evil Ginger Buffoon that features a significant amount of terrible players (murders, child abusers, wife beaters, drunk drivers, racists, bullies, and a guy that defended his child-beating colleague by making it sound like he beats his 1 year old baby), idiot coachesidiot team Twitter accounts and more madness, all in a game that knocks the brains out of men, and ENJOY!


Top Picks
CHI 20
PIT 18
STL 10
WAS 12
NO 4
SF 2
 ARI  1

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