Erik Spoelstra Spanks Entire Miami Heat Team After No Good, Very Bad Game

May 18, 2012

Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra was very upset after both stars Dwayne Wade and LeBron James forgot how to play basketball last night.

What they don’t want (ooh!), baby they got it!

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Terrell Owens: “I Wonder if the NFL Thinks of me Even Half as Much as I Think of Them.”

January 25, 2012

Football player and flamboyant drama king, Terrell Owens told his personal trainer that he misses the NFL. After advising to spread the word that he’s interested in playing real professional football again, Owens said, “it’ll be different this time… I’ve changed, I promise I’ve changed!”

Terrell Owens Doing What He Does Best of Late, Crying

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Roethlisgimper Plays With Less Power Than Candlestick Park

December 20, 2011

Big Ben Roethishamburglar gets a lot of respect and credit from sportscasters and analysts for being a tough, strong leader… the kind that would rape your sister in a bathroom. Unfortunately, while a bum left ankle may not slow one’s rape-roll, it drastically affects the ability to quarterback.

Candlelit Game

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Billy Crystal to Pitch Final Game of Season for Yankees

September 27, 2011

Crystal at Practice Tuesday

Looking to literally “play” the last series of the season, the Yankees have named the longtime fan and lovable comedian Billy Crystal the starting pitcher for Wednesday’s final game of the regular season.

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