With No 17-Year Olds Around, Mark Sanchez Asks Santonio Holmes to Be His Valentine

Despite the fact that Santonio Holmes is a decade older than Mark Sanchez’s usual dates, the Jets QB asked his WR over Twitter to be his Valentine.

Sanchez Wants Holmes to Fly Into His Arms

Gisele Bundchen Bombs First Ever Encounter with Hecklers

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen is a gorgeous woman who probably never had the experience of being heckled until Sunday night, when the New England Patriots lost to the New York Giants in the Super Bowl again.

Gissy and Tommy Talk Through Another Tough Loss

Indy-cision 2012

The Indianapolis Colts won 8 fewer games this season than they did last year, playing an entire season without beloved franchise hero quarterback Peyton Manning. Naturally, this has made the Colts unsure if they should stick with their Man(ning) or take their chances with Luck.

Indy-Ceision 2012... They're even wearing the Republican/Democrat colors to make the analogy that much more obvious!

Roethlisgimper Plays With Less Power Than Candlestick Park

Big Ben Roethishamburglar gets a lot of respect and credit from sportscasters and analysts for being a tough, strong leader… the kind that would rape your sister in a bathroom. Unfortunately, while a bum left ankle may not slow one’s rape-roll, it drastically affects the ability to quarterback.

Candlelit Game

Vikings Waive Goodbye to Donovan McNabb

No More Soup for You!

"Wait? What happened?" - McNabb at least twice a game for 13 seasons

It’s Always Chilly in Minneapolis

It’s a dark comedy, featuring blue humor and improvisational aspects. The season follows the exploits of the team, a group of egotistical players who are on the Minnesota Vikings, a relatively unsuccessful team in the NFL. If you haven’t been watching, I highly recommend the football sitcom, “It’s Always Chilly in  Minneapolis.”

Hairless Leader

Tony Romo Confirms Identity as Biggest Loser

Dallas Cowboys quarterback and media spotlight lover Tony Romo opened himself to headlines like the one of this article by appearing on NBC’s weight loss show. Giants, Eagles and Redskins fans everywhere laugh.

Beauty is Only Symmetry Deep

In an attempt to offer a non-story to attract People or US Magazine readers to the once highly regarded circulation that is the Wall Street Journal, the daily publication listed top 10 best-looking NFL quarterbacks, ranked by how symmetrical their faces are. But the statistics just may prove that the science of beauty is not as accurate or fun as the practice of ranking looks by creative opinion.

Guess Who’s Back? Back again…

Of course, Brett Favre has signed a deal with the Minnesota Vikings as the local “Look at me, I can’t live without attention” guy.

Vick Moves from Jailhouse to House Arrest

If you are excited that former Atlanta Falcons star Michael Vick is out of jail, you’re probably a cat person.